Three years ago, half my family died. My grandma died in June, and that same day, my uncle was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He died a month later, exactly. The following month, two others died. My father was left with no blood relatives, and this started to drive him crazy. In September, the final straw broke when his cat died. She was old, but when he found her, he collapsed on the ground, and began screaming at God, begging to know why this all had happened.

He wasn't the same after that. He was always an alcoholic but it got much worse. He became violent. He told my brother and I that he hated us, which was okay, but soon he started to beat my mother and I whenever the opportunity struck. I broke his hands twice during two different fights.

Then he started getting guns. Lots of guns. Kept them downstairs, and used to go down there and shoot things to scare us. He would shoot at dolls, cut off their heads and place them on our pillows as a warning to keep in line. This said, we lived in fear that one day he would take the final step and off us all while we slept. I kept a 9mm under my bed for a long time just to be safe, but was always scared that I wouldn't hear him...

Anyway. I got through this by working 30 hrs a week and going to school full time. Payed for everything myself, got a job the first day after I graduated, and now I work 12 hours a day, five days a week. I left. This gave me enough money to move out. My mother and brother left with me. She divorced my father, and there's now a restraining order against him.

Well, a lot of times, when I get in, I'm very stressed. Not that I think he will come back, but just having to work 12 hours a day and then have my mother crying each night about the whole thing. It makes me sick, and its hard to function. But then sometimes I get a chance to watch tv, and it relaxes me. House is my favorite show, and when I watch it, I am able to zone out. It gives me an hour of peace each week, and hour where I get absorbed in something other than whats around me. I do not watch other TV shows, in fact I've never been much of a TV person, but somehow I got into this show in particular.

I always liked Wilson best, I guess because he is sweet and he cares for people, and that's the type of person who I'd want to be, and would like to find. The episode "Wilson's Heart" also really struck me. It truly reminded me off the feelings of loss that I had when my family died - which was a good thing, because it was cathartic. It allowed me to cry for them, to cry for what had happened...I haven't actually cried in two years...was totally numb to many things...but God, it felt so good to have that release.

I'm sorry if that's not what you're looking for, but its honest, and I figured I might as well say thanks for those calm few times each week.