A thousand thanks for this opportunity...

And so on. I would love to say I haven't done this before. The whole written what House means to me. But I have because, gosh darnit, if I wasn't going to do this right when the time came. But here I am going on and on. It is most obvious I am overly-excited about anything to do with the program. But what "turns me on" is not exactly simple.

Since watching the first episode of House shortly after it aired, I have had 5 medical hospitalizations, 2 psychiatric hospitalizations, and 4 surgeries. Not many people stuck through all that, and I don't blame them. It's not easy to be someone's friend when they don't like themselves, and they don't know what's going on. For many years I was adrift like a piece of flotsam on the river riding the waves. I was a medical mystery which no one could solve.

I blamed myself for my perceived frailties and various illnesses. From a young age I have had OCD which does not fit the stereotypical OCD patient. I have scrupulosity and I am an agnostic. Doesn't quite fit, does it? No, I thought not. Scrupulosity means you are literally, obsessed with religious OR MORAL dilemmas. I am painstakingly nice to everyone, and obsess over whether or not I was "nice enough" or hurt their feelings in some miniscule way. I feel guilt for things most people don't even think about. Did I cross the street and make a car wait? Did I get on an elevator going up by myself? Couldn't I have waited for another person to come so it wouldn't waste the energy on just me? It is quite severe and debilitating, as I create or re-create situations in which I have not been "nice enough" an estimated every 10-20 minutes. But enough about that, you get the picture.

So what has House done for me? Imagine me, sitting in my living room after innocently watching Monk and then suddenly hearing this man causually ranting at the top of his lungs about the idiocy of his coworkers. Then he makes lewd comments about his boss' attire. Yet he is a strangely attractive character in the way he handles himself and his knowledge. It was quite an unreal experience. Here was a character who expressed his emotions in what seemed to be a carefree manner, something which I could only dream about.

Over the years watching House I would like to think I've developed with the character. When surrounded by darkness in the hospital at night all I had to do was flip open my laptop and pop in a DVD, and I would be set until the nurses came in the morning. However it was more than that. There were times in my life when I thought it would be easier to end the pain then and there rather than valley forth. Knowing that there would be future episodes I would miss would pull me back into reality. I feel silly stating that a TV show saved my life, but there it is.

Something else which contributed to my admiration for the show was the casting of Hugh Laurie as House. At first I did not recognize him in this role, as I had always seen him before in comedies and looking quite different. When he came over to America for the role, and the media of course asked questions of him, his replies were very, shall I say, heartening. Hearing that someone you've looked up to for a very long time for their skill and wit has also overcome challenges like those you face can be very enlightening. I believe he once stated that he had sought help from a therapist, and I decided it might be a good idea for me to, as well. I don't regret my decision.

When the character House began exhibiting psychological symptoms, I will admit, I felt uncomfortable because it hit so close to home. However, I am eternally thankful the cast and crew handled these sensitive issues so well. The premiere of season 6, while it had its share of errors, portrayed life in a mental institution appropriately and did not in any way fuel stereotypes which I encounter daily.

I want to say I am on the up-and-up, but if there's one thing I know it's that you never really know. I would like again to say thanks for the opportunity to share this story, and I would like to thank everyone at House for making such a meaningful and inspirational show. Finally, I would like to thank Hugh Laurie.